Why is 7 years old so OLD?

I am not sure why, but Cole turning 7 has hit me harder than when I turned 30.   There is really no significance to 7 years old.   It is not like he is turning 10 (double digits), 13 (teenager), 16 (I cannot even tell you why 16 is so big, but apparently from all the sweet 16 parties, it must be big for some reason unknown to me), 18 (voting age), or the dreaded 19 (drinking age).  But to me and my emotions lately,  7 years old just seems so......OLD!  

It has made me think a lot about the parent I am, and the parent I hope to become.   So many times I see on television or in magazines people blaming their parents for all their troubles as an adult.   Many nights I have laid in bed and thought about what MY kids are going to say about my parenting skills when they are older.    Are they going to be one of those kids who says, "I am a so and so because my parents loved me and believed in me."?   Are they going to say, "I have troubles in relationships cause my parents were too hard on me"?    Will it be positive, will it be negative?   Can I really have complete control over it?

I know as a parent I feel lost so many times and think, there is no way my kids are going to turn out "normal",  they are going to have so many issues, I have ruined their chance at a positive and strong adulthood.    Then I hear a conversation like this in my house, 

Jake:  Mom, mom, mom, mooooommmm,   moooooooommmmmmmm, mom, mom.

Me:   WHAT!!!!

Jake:  I love you!

How can I not feel like I am doing something right, when I hear that?   Yes I do believe that we have a profound impact on our kids and how they will become productive members of society.  But I also know that some of my faults as a parent will help my kids develop the skills needed to become intelligent young men .  

I know I yell a lot, (too much I've been told), but so are their bosses at work, teachers in class, teammates on the ball field  going to, deal with it.  There is usually a reason we are all doing it, figure out the reason and see if  something needs changing.  And if it does, change it!

I know I do not make the best of choices at times (peanut butter in pasta, but that is for another blog), but I've taught them not to be afraid to make mistakes, learn from them. 

I have spanked my child (and then felt beyond guilty after), but they won't run out onto the road again now will they. 

Guilt is a huge emotion that we as parents feel so much.  I think that, if we show our children that we love them unconditionally, teach them right from wrong, and give them positive role models to look to in times of need, how can they not say when they are adults, "I am who I am because of my parents!"  

And the journey continues........thanks for coming along for the ride

Nicole